Miss anaheim

Click here to hear the song:  Miss Anaheim

Notes by the Author:

When asked who is the author of which song, I have found that I can fairly accurately summarize most of what's going on with the phrase: "The bitter social commentary is written by me, and all the songs about some woman who won't go out with you are by Bill."  Just to show I can cross genres, this is my song about a beautiful woman who wouldn't go out with me.

In 1985 I transferred to CSUF to be on their debate team and met a woman named Pam, who had in fact won the Miss Anaheim contest.   She went on to compete in the Miss California Pagent, and it is actually the case that she had a victory dinner, participated in a parade, was in a swimsuit competition, took lessons on how to walk down the catwalk, and was mostly interested in debate because it could help her phrase things in short sound bites.  She also did put slimy wax on her teeth so they wouldn't dry out when she smiled too much.  The fact that I was attracted to her was an anomaly; I openly despised concessions to fashion and grooming.   There was nothing about me, I imagine, that would have attracted her.  We actually went out to dinner a couple of times, but I'm not sure that those events were intimate enough to be called "dates."  It was the first time I had figured out that most women were only after one thing from me, and it was unfortunately my mind rather than my body.  This song is my bitter indictment of the beauty queen life and the rather pedestrian conclusion that eventually we all get old.  It is also, sort of, my promise that I will stand by her through all that, but since I lost track of her 12 years ago it seems unlikely that I will really keep that promise.  I believe that she went to law school and now probably lives in some exclusive LA mansion with a husband much more attractive and wealthy than I.  Juvenile bitterness aside, I stand by most of the conclusions reached in the song.

Musically, I was once again able to play virtually nothing on the keyboard and rely heavily on Bill's ability to play the guitar and Dan.  In this case, I very much like the beat, and the minimalist keyboards and scratchy, understated guitar vaugely reminds me of "Cake," or, to my utter horror, "Sugar Ray."   In fact, I think that Sugar Ray uses the Juno 60 , or a sound very much like it, in their #1 song, "I just wanna fly."

As an odd twist of fate, this year's (1999) top CSUF debater, Rachel, who I now coach, was also once a contestant in the Miss California pagent.  Rachel has not alluded to her beauty queen status much, but she is brilliant, driven, and hard working, and has caused me to change many of my previous opinions about beauty pagent contestants that were based largely on the view that the entire event is nothing more than an attempt to objectify women and my unpleasant experience with Pam.  Occasionally I do get wiser as I get older. 

Notes by Bill:

Jon played me a demo of this song one night, and invited me to just do what I felt like on the guitar. Now, if you delete the guitar part from this song, you have a rap beat on a drum machine accompanied by Jon’s tinkling keyboard riffs. I ask you, is this a guitar song?  I had no idea what to do the first couple times through it. When I’m in that state, I start fiddling around with bass lines, to get a feel for the song’s structure. That’s how I came upon the primary guitar part. As soon as I started playing it, I knew it was vital for the song. But for variety’s sake, I had to move up the fretboard to the crying bit during the refrain.  I truly love this song. And I think that without my guitar additions, it’s not the same song at all, and not nearly as much fun for me to play.